I had another title in mind, but it wasn't PG. Accurate, though. Same first word, replace the rest with another F word. That just about sums up my day so far. There are not enough chocolate bars in the world for days like this.

Mark was diagnosed with cluster headaches just about a week ago, after we spent several hours in the ER. While we were there, he was seen by an amazing doctor who took great care of him. He was advised to make an appointment with his primary physician, given a day's worth of vicodin, and we went home.
We called first thing the next morning to make an appointment. It would seem to me that there would be a slot or two left open every day, just in case someone really needed to get in. Nope, evidently not. An appointment was scheduled for the following day. His doctor talked to him for a moment, decided that it might not be cluster headaches (because they are rare), gave him a new prescription for a mild pain killer. The pain medication the doctor originally wanted to prescribe wasn't doing anything for him at all. So the doctor asked if Tylenol was working. Obviously not, it we had to go to the hospital because of the pain.

I understand that doctors don't want to hand out pain killers, but there comes a point when maybe people need something a little bit stronger.

Right now, Mark is in the bedroom. He had another attack last night. He came into bed after work and just lay there, sobbing because of the pain. He would get up, walk around, kneel and bang his head against the floor, and then just curl up there, in too much pain to move. The medication he has wasn't touching it. Meanwhile, Becca woke up, and seeing Mark like that was really upsetting her, so we went out to watch some cartoons. I'm torn between taking care of her and taking care of my husband, trying to find a way to do both. I have never felt so completely helpless.

Cluster headaches come and go, with most people going through spells that last a few days to a month or more, and then some time more or less in remission. Mark's last bad spell like this was when we had first gotten together. It lasted almost two weeks, and he could barely get out of bed. I don't remember that one being this bad, and I'm worried that they will happen more often now. He missed work most of last week, and we're still struggling to play make up for the loss of income. And it just sucks-- really, really bad-- to see him in that much pain and not be able to do anything to help him. I realize that this is just going to be a part of our lives, but when coupled with the fibromyalgia he already deals with (and my anxiety disorder), it's easy to feel very overwhelmed. I'm trying my best to keep a positive outlook, not let this affect Becca, but it's hard. All I want to do is curl up and cry. It's not helping that I was up late last night with work, and only got a couple hours of sleep before he woke me up this morning.

There's no one to call and discuss this with. My family is less than sympathetic to Mark's health concerns (I mentioned to my sister that Mark missed some work due to the headaches, and she told me that our other sister could work with bad headaches, so he should be able to as well.) His mom is very sympathetic to him, which is nice, but she only sees it from the perspective of someone else who deals with pain (she has fibro too). There's no one who gets what it is like to sit here, suffering silently, while your loved one is in agony. That's hard, too. And I would love it if someone thought enough to ask "So, hey, how are you holding up?" I would of course give the required response of, "I'm holding up okay," because trying to explain, and give a truthful answer of "Life sucks, and I just want this to be over with." would actually lead to me sobbing myself, and I just don't have the time or energy for that right now.

I really needed to unload all of that. Thank you to those who managed to get through it all- it's not exactly light reading I guess.

In more positive news, we're going tomorrow to see the Imagination Movers live in Syracuse. All I have to do is get through today, and (hopefully) tomorrow will be better. We might even try to find our way to Chuck E. Cheese's after the show for dinner.

I've noticed a lot of posts lately mentioning taking surveys and doing other small tasks online to earn money. So, I thought I'd pop over here with a few ideas.

Paid surveys and whatnot are great, but there are much better ways to make money online. I know, because I work part time, and (when Becca isn't doing the psycho toddler thing) I make more an hour than Mark does ($20-$30). I write online for a few different places, and they're all accepting writers right now, so...

eHow- No application process. You just sign up, write, submit, and then collect residual payments. I have 18 articles on there, and I've made somewhere around $50 so far. It's all based on how many people click on the ads connected to your articles. Not a great payer, but you can put up some articles, and earn a little every month without doing anything else. It also gives you a place to showcase your writing, important for getting other writing positions. The nice thing about this site is that you can write about whatever you want, as long as you are careful about duplicate content.

Associated Content- I don't think there is an application process, but I could be wrong. A lot of people start off here, though. They pay $2-$3 an article, plus revenue. Which really sucks, but you'll get some published clips for applying to other sites.

Textbroker- Almost always hiring. Pay is based on your quality rating, but normally about $5.00 for 300-500 words. Pretty easy to get into, you just need to send them a few samples of your writing through their application page.

WiseGEEK- Also currently accepting, but they're hard to get in with. They're very picky about writing styles. Pay is $10 for a 400-500 word article.

Demand Studios- This is my big one right now.They own eHow, so you really want some quality articles on there before applying. You also want to put together a writer's resume. You're all bloggers, and have been for a while, so you can use that, along with any other writing experience you might have. Pay is $15 for a 500-ish word article. They're also kinda picky about style, and the editors are a pain, but it's worth it, just for the pay. If you get rejected the first time (a lot of people do), just fix up your resume, post a few more eHow or Associated Content articles, and try again in a few weeks. They pay tuesdays and fridays by PayPal. There are always thousands of articles available (you pick from what they have listed) and most articles take less than an hour to research and write, once you figure out what you're doing. I do most of my work here, when I'm not working for private clients.

Especially with Christmas coming, this might be a quicker way to earn some money than the surveys. No free Zunes, but you will probably make up the difference with the increase in pay. With any of these sites, a Google search will pull them up pretty quickly.

In other news... Snow.

Yeah...

I haven't been around. At all. In several months. Sorry about that. I have been reading my subscription digest every morning, though.

I just wanted to stop in and say "hi." I would like to say that I haven't been blogging here as much because I have been blogging on my personal site, but I haven't really been blogging there, either. Work is going really well, though, even if it is taking up all of my free time. I have several private clients (another check off on the 101 in 1001 list), and they keep me busy!

Becca is almost two. She is growing so fast, especially her arms, I think. She can reach stuff that it should not be physically possible for her to reach, and it is kinda driving me crazy. She can tell us what she wants now, most of the time, and she has become a little person. It's just amazing.

We are moving down two floors to a larger apartment. We are currently on the third floor, and we're soon going to be on the first. Bringing groceries into the house will be so much more pleasant. We finished painting the new living room today, and tomorrow we start really hauling stuff down the stairs. The new place has a dishwasher, fireplace (Score!!) and a washer and dryer. Which I just about flipped over. No more laundromat! No more washing clothes in the sink! I seriously haven't had a washer in dryer in years. My mom's dryer died when I was like 10, and she never replaced it, and I haven't been in a home that has had both since then. So freaking excited right now, let me tell you...

I'm going to try to get over here to post more often than once every 3-4 months. Really. I've missed everyone over here...

Time to get started with work for the day. I'll try to get back over here soon.